I am really sick of this sentiment. When other moms find out I’m pregnant with our first, they all say the same things: “good luck,” with a laugh, “enjoy your sleep now.. hahaha”, “ha, your life is going to change so much. Enjoy sleep/eating/running *insert favorite activity here*.” I understand that my life is going to change. That’s why my husband and I chose to get pregnant and start a family. I know that pregnancies aren’t always planned, and people aren’t always prepared for what’s to come. And I’m not saying I am necessarily prepared for this new life of ours, but how is this sentiment helpful? Why do moms act like they’re in some sort of exclusive club, one that they act like they don’t actually want me to be a part of. This shared misery concept, while understandable with how difficult motherhood can be, is not helpful advice for this mom-to-be.
I have thankfully had an amazing pregnancy so far. I can still run, I feel well enough and awake enough to enjoy time spent out with friends, I have no food aversions and no serious food cravings. But I AM stressed. I can’t sleep. I can’t tie my shoes. I cried trying to pick out a stroller. I have no idea what breastfeeding is going to be like, or if I’ll even be able to do it (breast is best, right?) I have no idea how to bathe a newborn. I have no idea how to install a car seat. I have no idea how to get an infant to sleep or eat or stop crying.
I know some of these things I’ll learn easily. Some of them will come naturally. Some of them I may never master. But please don’t laugh and roll your eyes at me while telling me how miserable my life is about to get. You don’t know what I’ll be like as a mom. You don’t know what my family dynamic will be. But neither do I. It may be a breeze. Or it may be impossible. But telling me how hard it’s going to be is like telling me the dinner I just ordered is going to taste like garbage. I already ordered it, I’m very excited about it and there is no going back now. So instead, just ask me how I’m feeling and tell me how happy you are for me and my growing family, and how you can’t wait to share a bottle of wine together once Baby Kona is here.
On another, even MORE personal note: I realize it’s been almost a year since I’ve last written. After my half marathon post, we got pregnant, had a miscarriage, and got pregnant again! By the time Baby Kona arrives, I’ll have been sober for twelve of the last fifteen months, so my wine tasting has taken a hiatus. It has been a whirlwind of a year. But one I wouldn’t change for anything.